Censorship

There’s been a lot of talk about censorship the past couple days. I don’t really understand the legislative issue, but I think you’ll understand what I’m getting at despite what’s being censored:

Last night when I got home from work I had the urge to head straight upstairs and take a nice, hot, steaming ****.  I placed my **** directly above the water. Just before I lowered my **** down into the pool of water below I thought to myself “I don’t want to take a normal ****, I want this to be the best **** I’ve ever taken.” The thought crossed my mind: “I really need to light a candle!” So I rushed off quickly to find a scented candle to create the ambiance to take the perfect ****.

I threw my robe on so I wasn’t running around exposing my**** to everyone and I started digging around for a nicely scented candle. So I finally found a nice apple-spice candle and a matchbook. I lit a match and accidentally dropped it on my ****! “AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” Holy **** did that hurt! I started running around and my **** fell off! Now I was running around with no ****, my **** was getting cold and I still really needed to get in there and take a nice, long ****.

I made my way back into the bathroom and I looked in the mirror. “Man I wish my **** hadn’t fallen off.” Things aren’t looking as good as they used to. I figured that was probably something that eventually happens when you get old anyway.

It was then I realized that to take the ultimate **** I was going to need some peaceful music to coax the stress from my body. I went and found my iPod and turned on the perfect **** soundtrack. Piano music…listening to a master tickle the ivories while I’m taking a **** is so theraputic. You should try it some time.

 So finally I was ready. I took my ****, dropped it down into the water and instantly felt TOTAL relaxation. It was like an envelope of steaming **** washing over me. I breathed in deeply and let the vapors fill my lungs. “Now THIS is the life!” I thought to myself.

When I was nearly asleep from a wonderful **** coma, I dunked my head into the water covering my hair and face. Amazing!

Don’t you love taking a nice relaxing bath?

Censorship Key:               bath, body, body, bath, bath, bath

                                                self, foot, moly, robe, robe, body, bath

                                                robe

                                                bath, bath, bath

                                                body, heat

                                                bath